BE CAREFUL HOW YOU THINK

Do you ever think about a situation before it happens? Of course you do, that's natural, but have you ever given thought to the way you think about it?

I think this is well illustrated by a story that Michael Neill tells in his book "Effortless Success". A man goes over to his neighbour's house to borrow her lawnmower. On the way he thinks about arguments they've had in the past about things that he's borrowed and returned late. He thinks about the time she borrowed his pruning shears and broke them and how she lost his best ladder, yet he didn't even say anything. By the time he gets to her front door he is steaming. She opens the door and smiles warmly at him - "hello there, great to see you, what can I do for you?" to which he simply barks, "and you can keep your damn lawnmower!"

So much of the time when we dread things or when things go badly it's because we have anticipated that this will be so by our negative thinking. NLP is about controlling your brain and that begins with accepting your brain as something separate from you, something that you can control. This small step can be a fundamental leap as it empowers you to do something about your situation, not just passively sit back and accept the hand you've been dealt.

Think about your day ahead, how do you feel about it? Ask yourself how much of this is due to fact and how much is down to the negative thoughts you have about it. It's all too easy to allow ourselves to be wound up before we meet with certain people, all because things maybe didn't go well when we met them last time and we are projecting the negative thoughts about that forward into today's meeting.

So take a bit of time today to notice what you are thinking......... More soon.
Michelle

WHAT THE DOG SAW

I'm currently reading "What the Dog Saw" by Malcolm Gladwell. He is probably best known for his classic books "Blink" and more recently "Outliers". This latest one is proving to be equally fascinating. Gladwell is a fabulous writer. A quote on the back of the book suggests he "makes the world fresh and exciting again" and he does.

I love the way Gladwell looks at the world. He frequently sees a situation from a wholly original perspective and not only asks questions that I haven't even thought of, but goes on to answer them too. For me he gets under the skin of his subjects. He gets inside their minds and wants to understand why people do what they do. NLP is all about understanding this too. Remember the blog about modelling a couple of weeks ago? This is modelling in action.

It is a collection of his articles all originally published in The New Yorker magazine. The piece that gives the book it's name is a profile of Cesar Millan, also known as the dog whisperer. Millan can calm the angriest and most troubled of animals with the touch of his hand. Gladwell was inspired to write the piece to answer his own questions, what is going on in Millan's mind when he does this, what does he see? It was only later that he says he was inspired to answer an altogether more fundamental question - what is going on for the dog when Millan does this? In attempting to discover "What the Dog Saw" he manages to turn the problem on it's head in his quest for new solutions.

Curiosity is what drives him. A sense of curiosity and a sense of playfulness is also what is behind NLP. It is encapsulated by the quote at the start of the book - to a worm in horseradish, the world is horseradish. Don't settle for a knowledge of just your immediate little piece of the world. Be interested in more than just the obvious. Begin to ask new questions in familiar situations. Always look to stretch yourself and to go beyond. The possibilities are truly endless.
Michelle

OUR BIGGEST WEEK SO FAR

This week is perhaps our biggest so far and is one that we are eagerly anticipating.

Tomorrow we are off to Reading GP Vocational Training Scheme to deliver a whole day's training to their ST3 group. In addition to giving them an understanding of what NLP is and teaching them lots of techniques, there will be plenty of time in the afternoon to work on the clinical cases that they will be bringing. This is a great chance for them to see their new NLP skills in action. They'll learn plenty of tips and tricks and discover new ways to solve what might once have seemed like insoluble problems.

On Wednesday we are facing our biggest challenge so far; delivering a Masterclass in NLP to 140 members of the Leadership Development Programme at NHS London. Some of the previous speakers on this programme have been world leaders in their field - like Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It's a hugely exciting opportunity for us to get up in front of so many influential people and share our passion and enthusiasm for NLP. We've spent a long time preparing for this, making sure that we give each and every one of them an experience to remember. We both know from personal experience what a huge difference NLP can make. We also know from our years in the NHS what an important chance this is to get out there and show them just what NLP has to offer in the healthcare sector.

It's going to be great ........ we're excited and we're ready...... Bring it on!
Michelle

NLP SKILLS FOR THE CONSULTATION

Our fifth video -  NLP Skills for the Consultation, is launched toady. You can view it here.

I often get asked about this when we are training. People want to know which NLP skills are most useful in real-life situations with patients. The video refers to some skills that we'll be learning more about later on - like matching and mirroring. It also talks about the fact that when you become better at using NLP you'll use the skills without knowing that you are doing it - remember Unconscious Competence from an earlier blog?

NLP is all about choice. It's about sharpening you awareness and observation skills, becoming more tuned in to what's going on around you and then using appropriate tools to optimise your communications. I talk about using the skills in the setting of a medical consultation because as a GP that's what I know, what I do everyday. They are equally applicable for use in many other settings. Whether you work in an office, manage a team, are involved in sales or in looking after teenagers, there is something in there to help you do it even better.

The essence of great communication is being in rapport and the basic premise of rapport is that people like people like them. When you are in rapport with someone your unconscious minds are picking up the signal that there is something about the other person that is like yourself. This gives you that comfortable feeling, that sense of "have I met them before?" I'm sure you know what I mean. There are some people who you've not known for long and it feels like you've known them for ages. Something just seems to "click"between you.

Of course this often happens naturally. Many times things will just seem to flow. What we are talking about here is what to do when that doesn't happen and how to make what's happening already even better, easier and more enjoyable. I'm all for making life easier and more enjoyable!

So enjoy this video and let us know what you think. Either leave us a comment below or on our You Tube channel. While you're there why not subscribe? You'll never miss another video again. We've got some great stuff coming up for you - including a real "high-flying" treat. Watch this space!

ON LEARNING FROM SUGGS

On Saturday I went to see "Suggs - My Life in Words and Music" in Aylesbury. It was wonderful and if you haven't seen it yet I'd suggest you try and catch it as it tours around the country.

Now I'm old enough to have grown up loving Madness, The Specials and all the other Two Tone bands. Ska revival music was a big part of my teens so for me this was a real treat. But it was about so much more than just the music.

For almost two hours Suggs held the audience in the palm of his hand. The stage contained just an armchair and another guy who played piano/guitar. As he walked and talked he interwove excerpts from his songs and other music of the time. He skillfully moved backwards and forwards in time, always carrying us along with him. He painted vivid pictures and wove rich tapestries of sound. We were taken on a rollercoaster of emotions - sadness, loneliness, excitement, frustration. We felt it all. It was a show that you could enjoy on so many levels. Whether you loved the music, loved the great stories or loved the sensitivity of the man behind them both - there was plenty to hold you spellbound.

He told of his quest to find out about his father who he thought had died when he was very young. How his hopes were built up and dashed. He told how he came to understand the importance of those around him and to appreciate them for all that they are. He realised that his fellow band members - although irritating and chaotic in many ways were really the family he'd never had. "Our House" was not how his life was in reality. "Always something happening and it's usually quite loud". No - he was an only child brought up by a working mum and spent lots of his early life alone.

From an NLP perspective the show was a fascinating demonstration of several techniques. He made extensive use of anchoring - both using the music of course and his physical positioning on the stage. He told the stories in nested loops, carefully interweaving and overlapping them, breaking them off before the end...........before picking them up later and closing the loop.

But you don't need to know any NLP to love it. You just need to have a heart.

Look out for our next video. It's being released on You Tube on 25th January. 
Why not subscribe to NLP4MEDICS's You Tube channel and never miss another episode?

Michelle

SETBACKS ARE A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY

So we're now into the third week of the New Year, said to be the time when many people give up on their resolutions. Why does this happen and how can you stop yourself from falling into that trap?

Say for example you've resolved to stop eating chocolate. What if one day temptation gets the better of you and you eat a few squares? Does that mean you need to give up on the whole thing and go back to being the way you were before? It doesn't have to........ it depends on how you view what happened, in NLP terms, it depends on how you frame it.

You could regard eating the chocolate as a failure - label yourself as having failed, give up and start eating it again full-time. But what would that achieve? You'd feel awful and you'd be back on the chocolate. Not a great outcome!

How about if you were to redefine what just happened. OK you ate a bit of chocolate. In the grand scheme of things that's not such a dreadful thing. Think about why you did it. Maybe you were bored? Maybe you were with others who were doing the same? Why not think about replacing the chocolate habit with something more useful and keeping different company for a bit? It's all about being kind to yourself and making it easier. Why beat yourself up about it?

One of the presuppostions of NLP is that There is no Failure, only Feedback. It's about redefining what happens to you in a more positive sense and using situations when things don't go your way as learning opportunities. It's more than this though. It's also about the fact that if you adopt this belief, if you adopt the mindset that There is no Failure only Feedback - you will not be afraid to try anything. You will just know that if the worst happens and you don't succeed the first time, you will learn something to better inform your next attempt. How liberating is that? NLP is all about attitude. I discuss this more in today's new video on our You Tube channel - come and watch it here now.

TAKING ACTION FEELS GREAT!

Goal setting is a big part of what I do, in all three of my jobs. As a GP, as a success coach and and as an NLP trainer, working with others to realise their goals is a really satisfying part of my work. But what about when things don't go so well, when things slip a bit? How can you get yourself back on track? I thought I'd share a personal example to illustrate the importance of just taking action.

Towards the end of last year I lost a stone in weight. No rocket science involved - I just ate less, ate more sensibly and exercised regularly. Last autumn I was in the gym about 6 days a week and playing tennis once or twice a week on top of that. But then I hurt my knee, nothing major but a niggling thing that stopped me working out and threw me off track. Then with Christmas and all that entails, I managed to regain about 6lbs of the weight loss.

Last year I started to learn welsh. I love learning stuff, pushing myself to find out new things and I am particularly keen on languages - I'm also a reasonable french-speaker. I found a fantastic website called www.saysomethinginwelsh.com and followed their programme. I completed the beginner's course and got about two-thirds of the way through the intermediate course - and then I stopped. For no better reason than I lost my headphones. Not having the headphones to hand meant I didn't just listen when I had a few minutes free and next thing I was out of the habit. About two months passed and I learned no new welsh.

New Year is often a time that we stop and take stock. We look ahead to what we want to achieve. I thought about how well I had done with my weight loss and my welsh in the latter part of 2011 but at first getting back to where I had been seemed a very long way to go.

Until I did one simple thing -  I decided to take action! 

I could have sat around feeling sorry for myself remembering that I used to be fitter and a better linguist but the moment arrived when I simply decided enough is enough! Armed with new headphones and renewed enthusiasm I simply took the action that was needed to start me back on the path again. There's still some way to go of course - I'm not quite back where I was yet with either the weight loss or the welsh. But do you know what? I'm really happy because now I am on my way!

Michelle

ELEMENTARY MY DEAR WATSON

Those of you who watched Sherlock Holmes last night would have seen him use a memory technique that is closely linked with NLP. Whilst trying to remember the significance of two clues he put himself into a trance and went to what he called his "mind palace". Whilst he wrestled with a string of seemingly random associations, his partner Dr.Watson explained to another character what he was up to.

Essentially what he did was to return to a place in his memory - somewhere that he had deliberately visited before. When there in his mind previously he had deposited certain memories. As he returned there, he associated that place with the memories and they returned to him. What he had done was to set up what in NLP terms is called an anchor. This is an association between two things and can occur naturally or as in this case be set up deliberately. All he had to do was remember how to journey to the place and the memories stored along the way would return to him as associations as he passed them.

Many of he world's memory experts use this technique for things such as remembering a pack of cards in order. They follow a familiar journey in their mind and as they do so mentally place the cards along the route. The cards then become associated with something about the route at that point and an anchor is set up. When they mentally return to that same point, the same association occurs and they remember the card.

It's a great technique to teach kids to help them remember things like vocabulary lists. They are often surprisingly good at it and making it into a game makes it more fun too.

The female character in Sherlock Holmes seemed more intrigued by the name Holmes gave to the technique. She asked Watson, "why does he call it his mind palace." The answer - "he would, wouldn't he!"