FRAMING & REFRAMING

I wrote this yesterday whilst waiting for the start of the Six Nations Rugby match France v Ireland. I've just seen Declan Kidney, the Irish coach interviewed and asked how he feels about Ireland's very poor record against the French in Paris. Instead of being intimidated, he saw it as a challenge - "Irish wins here are rare but what's rare is highly-prized." That's a great example of a reframe. Despite that, being an England fan I couldn't show anything other than an English ball now could I?

Framing in NLP terms really means setting the scene. Putting a frame around something means outlining what's going to happen so that your unconscious mind knows what's going on. It also sets the tone of what's coming next. Sometimes it's helpful to change this tone - that's what is called a re-frame.

This week's video is about framing & reframing and you can view it here.
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In it I discuss and example of using a reframe in a consultation situation. I do that a lot, it's a really helpful technique to use. There is nearly always a positive way that you can turn a situation around by suggesting a different way to look at it - by giving it a different frame. Maybe someone is coming back to see you to talk about weight loss. Perhaps they intended to lose half a stone in the month since their last visit and they've only lost 4lbs. Rather than see this as a failure, stressing that they have done well and that if they keep doing what they are doing they are going to get to their goal will be much more likely to keep them motivated.

Look for the positives in every situation - there is almost always something to find. Have fun noticing them and thinking about how to use them to motivate yourself and others.
Michelle

SETBACKS ARE A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY

So we're now into the third week of the New Year, said to be the time when many people give up on their resolutions. Why does this happen and how can you stop yourself from falling into that trap?

Say for example you've resolved to stop eating chocolate. What if one day temptation gets the better of you and you eat a few squares? Does that mean you need to give up on the whole thing and go back to being the way you were before? It doesn't have to........ it depends on how you view what happened, in NLP terms, it depends on how you frame it.

You could regard eating the chocolate as a failure - label yourself as having failed, give up and start eating it again full-time. But what would that achieve? You'd feel awful and you'd be back on the chocolate. Not a great outcome!

How about if you were to redefine what just happened. OK you ate a bit of chocolate. In the grand scheme of things that's not such a dreadful thing. Think about why you did it. Maybe you were bored? Maybe you were with others who were doing the same? Why not think about replacing the chocolate habit with something more useful and keeping different company for a bit? It's all about being kind to yourself and making it easier. Why beat yourself up about it?

One of the presuppostions of NLP is that There is no Failure, only Feedback. It's about redefining what happens to you in a more positive sense and using situations when things don't go your way as learning opportunities. It's more than this though. It's also about the fact that if you adopt this belief, if you adopt the mindset that There is no Failure only Feedback - you will not be afraid to try anything. You will just know that if the worst happens and you don't succeed the first time, you will learn something to better inform your next attempt. How liberating is that? NLP is all about attitude. I discuss this more in today's new video on our You Tube channel - come and watch it here now.