NO MAN IS AN ISLAND

"No man is an island," - at least so said John Donne, but do we behave like that? Does modern life encourage us to be inter-connected in the way that we once were.

As a GP I see lots of people for advice about very minor things. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind, it's my job, but not too long ago these weren't things that people would have asked their GP. They would simply have asked a parent, grand-parent or other family elder who would probably have been living with or near them. Families separate from each other more frequently now and have to cope on their own. Maybe this will change again as young people can't afford to buy or rent a house and are forced to remain in the nest for longer.

I was inspired to write this piece when I noticed that my number of followers on Linkedin is just about to top 400 and my Twitter followers reached 150. What does connectedness really mean to us? Do we really use the connections that we have? More importantly, do we really nurture them?

Obviously we interact with them in different ways. On my personal Twitter account @michellebuist you'll likely find me analysing the latest episodes of Casualty or EastEnders and singing the praises of favourite characters with fellow fans. On our business account @NLP4MEDICS we'll keep you up to date with what we're up to and share stuff of interest in the world of NLP and medicine. On Linkedin I'll post interesting and thought provoking comments in the groups I belong to and have made lots of contacts through doing so. I like to read what others have written and respond to that too. Again I've "met" many like-minded people through doing so. We then share ideas and get inspiration from each other. A real win-win scenario. It's not about what you get from connecting, it's about what you contribute and how you add value to the other person's world.

In the real world, do we really take enough time to nurture our connections? When did you last tell someone how much they meant to you? I'm not suggesting you do this in a creepy stalkerish way to everyone you know, that would be weird...... but we all take lots of people we know for granted and maybe it's time for a change.

So today, make a point of telling someone how much you appreciate them. See what happens. I think you'll be glad you did. Just think how much it would mean if someone did that to you.......
Have a great week. See you Monday.
Michelle

FRAMING & REFRAMING

I wrote this yesterday whilst waiting for the start of the Six Nations Rugby match France v Ireland. I've just seen Declan Kidney, the Irish coach interviewed and asked how he feels about Ireland's very poor record against the French in Paris. Instead of being intimidated, he saw it as a challenge - "Irish wins here are rare but what's rare is highly-prized." That's a great example of a reframe. Despite that, being an England fan I couldn't show anything other than an English ball now could I?

Framing in NLP terms really means setting the scene. Putting a frame around something means outlining what's going to happen so that your unconscious mind knows what's going on. It also sets the tone of what's coming next. Sometimes it's helpful to change this tone - that's what is called a re-frame.

This week's video is about framing & reframing and you can view it here.
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In it I discuss and example of using a reframe in a consultation situation. I do that a lot, it's a really helpful technique to use. There is nearly always a positive way that you can turn a situation around by suggesting a different way to look at it - by giving it a different frame. Maybe someone is coming back to see you to talk about weight loss. Perhaps they intended to lose half a stone in the month since their last visit and they've only lost 4lbs. Rather than see this as a failure, stressing that they have done well and that if they keep doing what they are doing they are going to get to their goal will be much more likely to keep them motivated.

Look for the positives in every situation - there is almost always something to find. Have fun noticing them and thinking about how to use them to motivate yourself and others.
Michelle

THE RAZOR'S EDGE

What separates the great from the excellent? How big is the difference between the winner and the also rans? Often it's tiny, no more than the thickness of a razor's edge......

I love this concept. I love the idea that the difference between mediocrity and excellence is definable and frequently not as wide as we think. But how come some people have it and others don't? What gives some that certain something that puts them above everyone else - be it at work, rest or play?

Anthony Robbins explores this concept and concludes that what makes the difference is time - quite simply the hours you put in. He talks about the concept of 10,000 hours to mastery, claiming that if you want to master any skill - be it a new sport or a foreign language, then that's the time commitment you're going to need to put in if you want to excel at it. Although that might sound daunting, think of it the other way around - if you put a lot of hours into something you will get very very good at it - no question.

Now how often do you say or hear others say that they don't have time? On a daily basis I'd say. Certainly in my surgeries I hear it at least ten times a day - but is it true? Do we really not have time, or could we use the time that we do have more effectively?

What really helps me is the thought that however great anyone is, they only ever have 24 hours in their day, the same as I do. I have the same time available as everyone else - what makes the difference is how I use it. How committed am I to really make something of my life? Committed enough to really look at how I use my time? Of course. Even the busiest people could use their time better - we can all do more with what we have by being smarter with our time.

Personally I'm a real morning person. I like to get into work very early and get things done in the quiet time before everyone else arrives and the soap opera that is my practice kicks off again! Maybe you spend a lot of time driving to and from work? Could you use that time more profitably - listening to self-development DVDs or podcasts? Maybe when you're in the gym - try giving Jeremy Kyle or Coronation Street a miss for once and listening to a bit of Wayne Dyer or Michael Neill?

If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results. I don't know about you but I'm thinking maybe it's time for a change.
Michelle