NLP & CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Nice as it might be if everything in life ran smoothly, things sometimes go wrong and there are conflicts. What does NLP have to offer when it comes to conflict resolution?

Interestingly we taught a group of trainee GPs last week and conflict resolution was one of the areas that many of them wanted to know more about. What does that say about the modern NHS you may ask? Don't even start me off on the government's Health Bill.......

Conflict often arises as the result of misunderstanding, so techniques designed to help prevent misunderstandings are likely to be effective here. Rapport building is always so important, I can't stress that enough; if you've got great rapport with someone it's hard to be in conflict with them. It doesn't mean you'll necessarily agree with each other but it will make it a lot easier to understand the other's point of view. When gaining rapport you need to be aware of the other person's physiology, breathing, predicates, tonality and gestures.

The NLP technique which deals specifically with appreciating how another person experiences a situation is called Perceptual Positions. It involves deliberately experiencing a situation from a number of different perspectives - your own, the other person's, that of a dispassionate observer and sometimes from an even further removed viewpoint outside the system altogether. One moves through these in turn, gaining insight and deepening your understanding of the situation as a whole.

The use of chunking in language and the concept of the Hierarchy of Ideas - both of which we'll be discussing in later blogs, are very useful tools here too. So stay with us. We love to get your feedback, on the blog and our videos so feel free to get in touch.
Michelle

IS THIS REALLY GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?

Now it is said that there is a mountain resort in the Swiss Alps that caters for businesses seeking to give their team a bonding experience. Although it's a moderately hard climb, most people in reasonable physical shape would be able to make it to the top.

At the start, teams gather excitedly, taking group photos and eagerly anticipating the challenge ahead. They hike for several hours before taking a break at a conveniently situated mountain lodge. They peel off their boots and settle by the roaring fires to enjoy a well-deserved mug of steaming hot chocolate or coffee before lunch. The setting is idyllic and they have time to savour it as they eat.

Interestingly, despite having been so eager to reach the summit when they set out, less than half of the hikers continue on to the top in the afternoon. It's not because they're not able to, nor because it suddenly seems too difficult. Their reluctance to push themselves on is simply because they have become satisfied with where they are and have lost their drive to excel. They're now content not to reach greater heights than they ever thought possible. Having tasted a bit of success, they decide that, for them, that is good enough.

How often do you approach your life like those hikers? How many times have you settled for less than you set out to achieve? It's time to step out of your comfort zone and push yourself. Be one of the few who goes the extra mile and achieves what you really set out to achieve. Be able to look back and know that you've given it everything you've got.

Our latest video is out today. It features Suzanne answering some FAQ's about metaphors. You can view it here or subscribe to our You Tube channel. We'd love your feedback on our blog and videos - feel free to get in touch.
Start your week the way you mean to go on and we'll see you on Wednesday.
Michelle

MODELLING - HOW DO THEY DO THAT?

No, not the catwalk type of modelling. I think I've a bit too much meat on my bones for that........

When you were born did you know how to walk? How to ride a bike? How to speak English? Of course you didn't ........ but almost certainly you know how to do all those things now. So how has that happened? Somewhere along the line you have learned the skills involved in performing those tasks.

Can you ride a unicycle, speak Japanese or play the bagpipes? Maybe you can but for most of us it will be a no to all of these questions. For some people it'll be a yes because they have chosen to learn the skills involved. My point is this, if someone can do it, they must have learned to do it. If they can learn to do it, then you can too. Now I'm not saying you can decide to learn to sprint this week and be beating Usain Bolt the next but you could certainly get a whole lot faster if you learned to do what he does by modelling him - by studying how he does it.

In NLP terms, understanding that a skill is made up of a series of steps is one of the first steps to modelling that skill and being able to do it yourself. It's about more than just the physical movements though, it's about the attitude. What is going on in someone's head when they reach peak performance? How can you learn to get yourself into the same state?

The NLP presupposition that encompasses this best is, Possible in the world and possible for me is only a matter of how. I love this because it opens up a whole lifetime of possibilities. It lets me look at my laptop keyboard and see every book that's ever been written; or at a piano keyboard and understand that every piece of music that exists in the world could come from the notes on there.
To me that's mind-blowing. It's also hugely empowering ......... and I don't think I'm alone in that.
Michelle

OUR BIGGEST WEEK SO FAR

This week is perhaps our biggest so far and is one that we are eagerly anticipating.

Tomorrow we are off to Reading GP Vocational Training Scheme to deliver a whole day's training to their ST3 group. In addition to giving them an understanding of what NLP is and teaching them lots of techniques, there will be plenty of time in the afternoon to work on the clinical cases that they will be bringing. This is a great chance for them to see their new NLP skills in action. They'll learn plenty of tips and tricks and discover new ways to solve what might once have seemed like insoluble problems.

On Wednesday we are facing our biggest challenge so far; delivering a Masterclass in NLP to 140 members of the Leadership Development Programme at NHS London. Some of the previous speakers on this programme have been world leaders in their field - like Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It's a hugely exciting opportunity for us to get up in front of so many influential people and share our passion and enthusiasm for NLP. We've spent a long time preparing for this, making sure that we give each and every one of them an experience to remember. We both know from personal experience what a huge difference NLP can make. We also know from our years in the NHS what an important chance this is to get out there and show them just what NLP has to offer in the healthcare sector.

It's going to be great ........ we're excited and we're ready...... Bring it on!
Michelle

ARE YOU SITTING COMFORTABLY? .....

We all love stories don't we? I reckon anyone who says they don't is lying!
Whether because they remind us of our childhood or just take us away from our everyday lives, we all have our own reasons for enjoying them.

Stories are wonderful - from the very simple to the very complex. The simplest story often has more depth to it than is at first apparent whilst the most complex can also be enjoyed at a simple level.

Our unconscious minds love stories too. They love to try and make sense of them. When we hear or read a story, our unconscious mind goes into overdrive, working on deriving meaning that is relevant to us. Maybe that's why stories are so great - because we can all take out of them exactly what we need for ourselves.

When my brother and I were little, our grandad used to tell us a lot of stories. He made up his own characters, a family of bears called the Brewin Boys and told us brilliant stories about their adventures. Thinking back, they were really moral tales; each time the bears managed to get themselves into a situation and faced a choice between right and wrong. They always made the right choice and learned something along the way ........... and of course........ subtly, so did we. Now if grandad had sat us down and lectured us about doing this or not doing that, we might not have listened, but this way, it was fun. Not only that but memorable - 40 odd years later.

In today's new video, Suzanne talks about the power of using stories and metaphors when communicating. You can view it here and subscribe to our You Tube channel here, so you never miss another video.
Michelle

THE RAZOR'S EDGE

What separates the great from the excellent? How big is the difference between the winner and the also rans? Often it's tiny, no more than the thickness of a razor's edge......

I love this concept. I love the idea that the difference between mediocrity and excellence is definable and frequently not as wide as we think. But how come some people have it and others don't? What gives some that certain something that puts them above everyone else - be it at work, rest or play?

Anthony Robbins explores this concept and concludes that what makes the difference is time - quite simply the hours you put in. He talks about the concept of 10,000 hours to mastery, claiming that if you want to master any skill - be it a new sport or a foreign language, then that's the time commitment you're going to need to put in if you want to excel at it. Although that might sound daunting, think of it the other way around - if you put a lot of hours into something you will get very very good at it - no question.

Now how often do you say or hear others say that they don't have time? On a daily basis I'd say. Certainly in my surgeries I hear it at least ten times a day - but is it true? Do we really not have time, or could we use the time that we do have more effectively?

What really helps me is the thought that however great anyone is, they only ever have 24 hours in their day, the same as I do. I have the same time available as everyone else - what makes the difference is how I use it. How committed am I to really make something of my life? Committed enough to really look at how I use my time? Of course. Even the busiest people could use their time better - we can all do more with what we have by being smarter with our time.

Personally I'm a real morning person. I like to get into work very early and get things done in the quiet time before everyone else arrives and the soap opera that is my practice kicks off again! Maybe you spend a lot of time driving to and from work? Could you use that time more profitably - listening to self-development DVDs or podcasts? Maybe when you're in the gym - try giving Jeremy Kyle or Coronation Street a miss for once and listening to a bit of Wayne Dyer or Michael Neill?

If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results. I don't know about you but I'm thinking maybe it's time for a change.
Michelle

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY TO US!

NLP4MEDICS is one year old today! Happy Birthday to us!
After meeting late in 2009, Suzanne and I incorporated our company on 8th February 2011.
Since then we've gone from strength to strength and overcome lots of challenges along the way.

We celebrated last week, as we said in the last post, by doing something completely different. As we'd got the company off the ground, we thought we'd get ourselves off the ground too. We went indoor skydiving at Airkix in Milton Keynes and then had lunch at Paris House in Woburn Park. It was great fun and harder than it looked. (Skydiving I mean - the eating was very easy!) Any slight change of position leads to you banging into the side of the tunnel or shooting up in the air. Pictured above is me. I look OK here I reckon, but seconds later I managed to land in a very undignified heap as our trainer Fred helped me exit from the tunnel. In retrospect it always helps to put your legs down when you want to stand!

Rather like life itself, the skydiving was easiest when you just relaxed and enjoyed it and didn't try too hard. I'm liking that metaphor if I say so myself. Talking of metaphors - that is the subject of our next video, to be released on 15th February. Why not subscribe to our You Tube channel, that way you'll never miss another video.

Michelle

MIND - BODY CONNECTION

Our mind and our body are intimately connected. At one level we all know that but it's easy to forget it when it suits us to do so. In today's new video I give a simple demonstration of the mind-body connection and you can view it here. Play along with me and you'll see what I mean.

NLP is not just about recognising things such as the mind-body connection, it's about using it to your advantage. If you want your body to do anything, you need to get your mind in the right state first. Once you "get your head right" then things flow much more easily.

If you're struggling to follow an exercise programme because you're seeing yourself as fat and unfit, it'll be hard to make changes physically before you make them mentally. Concentrate on how you want to be. Give your unconscious mind something positive to work on, then it will work for you, not against you, to help you create what you are aiming for. If you see or feel yourself as on the way to becoming slim and healthy it'll be much easier to keep going in the right direction than if you see yourself in a more negative way.

It's said that we only use somewhere around 10% of the total power of our brains. Can you just imagine what we could achieve if we could harness our full potential and channel it? How wonderful would that be?
Michelle

RECHARGE YOUR BATTERIES

In the last post, we talked about Steve Jobs' Nine Guidelines for Life, one of which was "break free from routine." This is so important and is something that we often forget to do or make excuses not to do, in our busy lives. Not doing this takes it's toll though as your level of creativity certainly goes down when you plod through the same old routine day after day.

With this in mind, Suzanne and I decided to do something different today - very different indeed. In fact neither of us has ever done it before. What prompted it was the upcoming first anniversary of the incorporation of our company. OK it was a good excuse for a day out too, but who cares!

The fun in doing something different isn't just in the doing, it's in the planning and the anticipation of it too. We've been looking forward to this for weeks. Not only is it something new to us but something that, shall we say, will give us a very different perspective on life!

So, what are we up to? Well you'll have to wait until our next blog on Monday to find out...........

Michelle