FLEXIBILITY

In NLP one of the fundamental or core principles, the so-called presuppositions, is that the most successful person in any team is the one with the most flexibility.

This is the subject of today's new video. In the video Suzanne talks about flexibility and about adapting what you are doing to different situations. It's crucial to be aware of what is working well and to know how to change it to work even better in different situations. If you keep on doing something that isn't working, you'll keep getting the same bad results. As Henry Ford said, "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

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Michelle

BE CAREFUL HOW YOU THINK

Do you ever think about a situation before it happens? Of course you do, that's natural, but have you ever given thought to the way you think about it?

I think this is well illustrated by a story that Michael Neill tells in his book "Effortless Success". A man goes over to his neighbour's house to borrow her lawnmower. On the way he thinks about arguments they've had in the past about things that he's borrowed and returned late. He thinks about the time she borrowed his pruning shears and broke them and how she lost his best ladder, yet he didn't even say anything. By the time he gets to her front door he is steaming. She opens the door and smiles warmly at him - "hello there, great to see you, what can I do for you?" to which he simply barks, "and you can keep your damn lawnmower!"

So much of the time when we dread things or when things go badly it's because we have anticipated that this will be so by our negative thinking. NLP is about controlling your brain and that begins with accepting your brain as something separate from you, something that you can control. This small step can be a fundamental leap as it empowers you to do something about your situation, not just passively sit back and accept the hand you've been dealt.

Think about your day ahead, how do you feel about it? Ask yourself how much of this is due to fact and how much is down to the negative thoughts you have about it. It's all too easy to allow ourselves to be wound up before we meet with certain people, all because things maybe didn't go well when we met them last time and we are projecting the negative thoughts about that forward into today's meeting.

So take a bit of time today to notice what you are thinking......... More soon.
Michelle

CHILLING OUT

When you read this I will be far from home. I've headed off for a couple of days to rest and recharge my batteries. I love travelling and driving long distances gives me a great opportunity to relax. When I'm driving I love listening to CDs or to my iPod. I sometimes listen to music but more often listen to audiobooks. On this trip I'm planning to listen again to Napoleons Hill's "Think and Grow Rich." If you haven't read or heard it, I'd urge you to do so. It's an absolute classic and full of some really thought-provoking ideas. When you're away it's a wonderful opportunity to do something different, to break from your normal routine. Much as I love my jobs, I also very much love not doing them sometimes. I'll be away on my own and that gives me a great chance to relax and take stock, to think about where I'm going and about where I want my life to go next.

Some of my very best ideas have come to me when I've been out of my usual routine. I find I'm often most creative when I'm not trying to create anything at all. Just switching off and letting my life flow ......... Sometimes that works much better than struggling and trying to force ideas to come when they're just not ready to.

Sometimes we do better when we try less hard .....
Michelle

SEIZE THE DAY

This blog was inspired by two sporting events from this weekend - one you'll know all about and the other a very personal one.

I'm sure you'll all have heard by now of the collapse of Fabrice Muamba, the Bolton footballer during Saturday's FA Cup match against Spurs. My partner and our younger son were at the game and were part of the shocked crowd who saw the fit 23 year old athlete collapse without warning. After on pitch resuscitation and the efforts of medical staff he was taken to intensive care and at the time of writing remains in a critical condition in hospital.

On Sunday our 16 year old son was playing rugby for his club. Halfway through the second half he was knocked backwards in a tackle, striking his head hard against the ground and injuring his neck. As the team medic I was responsible for immobilising his neck until the ambulance arrived. We then spent the afternoon in our local casualty department. Thank God his Xrays were all fine and he was able to be discharged. He is very stiff and sore but no serious harm has been done. It could so easily have been different. The NHS did a wonderful job to give Fabrice a fighting chance and to look after my son so well - thank you.

Both incidents have really serve to illustrate how our lives really do hang by a thread. One moment things are going along just fine and the next........

All the more reason to seize the day - carpe diem. Living in the here and now and truly appreciating all the wonderful gifts that we have seems all the more important when things like this happen. There are so many other things to appreciate and be thankful for too. Fabrice Muamba's tragedy has unified fans across the country and indeed the world. Sometimes it takes something to go wrong for people to show their true colours but I truly believe there is so much goodness out there in the world if only we know where to look for it.
Michelle

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND

"No man is an island," - at least so said John Donne, but do we behave like that? Does modern life encourage us to be inter-connected in the way that we once were.

As a GP I see lots of people for advice about very minor things. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind, it's my job, but not too long ago these weren't things that people would have asked their GP. They would simply have asked a parent, grand-parent or other family elder who would probably have been living with or near them. Families separate from each other more frequently now and have to cope on their own. Maybe this will change again as young people can't afford to buy or rent a house and are forced to remain in the nest for longer.

I was inspired to write this piece when I noticed that my number of followers on Linkedin is just about to top 400 and my Twitter followers reached 150. What does connectedness really mean to us? Do we really use the connections that we have? More importantly, do we really nurture them?

Obviously we interact with them in different ways. On my personal Twitter account @michellebuist you'll likely find me analysing the latest episodes of Casualty or EastEnders and singing the praises of favourite characters with fellow fans. On our business account @NLP4MEDICS we'll keep you up to date with what we're up to and share stuff of interest in the world of NLP and medicine. On Linkedin I'll post interesting and thought provoking comments in the groups I belong to and have made lots of contacts through doing so. I like to read what others have written and respond to that too. Again I've "met" many like-minded people through doing so. We then share ideas and get inspiration from each other. A real win-win scenario. It's not about what you get from connecting, it's about what you contribute and how you add value to the other person's world.

In the real world, do we really take enough time to nurture our connections? When did you last tell someone how much they meant to you? I'm not suggesting you do this in a creepy stalkerish way to everyone you know, that would be weird...... but we all take lots of people we know for granted and maybe it's time for a change.

So today, make a point of telling someone how much you appreciate them. See what happens. I think you'll be glad you did. Just think how much it would mean if someone did that to you.......
Have a great week. See you Monday.
Michelle

WHAT THE DOG SAW

I'm currently reading "What the Dog Saw" by Malcolm Gladwell. He is probably best known for his classic books "Blink" and more recently "Outliers". This latest one is proving to be equally fascinating. Gladwell is a fabulous writer. A quote on the back of the book suggests he "makes the world fresh and exciting again" and he does.

I love the way Gladwell looks at the world. He frequently sees a situation from a wholly original perspective and not only asks questions that I haven't even thought of, but goes on to answer them too. For me he gets under the skin of his subjects. He gets inside their minds and wants to understand why people do what they do. NLP is all about understanding this too. Remember the blog about modelling a couple of weeks ago? This is modelling in action.

It is a collection of his articles all originally published in The New Yorker magazine. The piece that gives the book it's name is a profile of Cesar Millan, also known as the dog whisperer. Millan can calm the angriest and most troubled of animals with the touch of his hand. Gladwell was inspired to write the piece to answer his own questions, what is going on in Millan's mind when he does this, what does he see? It was only later that he says he was inspired to answer an altogether more fundamental question - what is going on for the dog when Millan does this? In attempting to discover "What the Dog Saw" he manages to turn the problem on it's head in his quest for new solutions.

Curiosity is what drives him. A sense of curiosity and a sense of playfulness is also what is behind NLP. It is encapsulated by the quote at the start of the book - to a worm in horseradish, the world is horseradish. Don't settle for a knowledge of just your immediate little piece of the world. Be interested in more than just the obvious. Begin to ask new questions in familiar situations. Always look to stretch yourself and to go beyond. The possibilities are truly endless.
Michelle

NLP WITH COLLEAGUES

During our teaching sessions with trainee GPs we talk about applying NLP in practical situations with colleagues. The one situation they always come up with is practice meetings. These are situations that they often find difficult or in which conflict arises and they want tips as to how to handle the situation. Well I am facing just that situation myself today. Our regular weekly practice meetings are on a Friday lunchtime but today we have a special one (no nothing to do with Jose Mourinho..... will he or won't he go back to Chelsea? Or even to Spurs if Harry takes the England job?) I digress - today's special meeting is about re-vamping our appointment system and it will be a wonderful opportunity to put my NLP skills into practice.

What upcoming situations do you face in which it would be useful to have some extra skills? Maybe to further hone your ability to get into rapport or to be able to understand the situation from a number of different perspectives as we discussed in last week's blog about conflict resolution. Listening skills are possibly the most important of all - not only what is being said but how it being said. What tonality is being used? Another technique called the Meta Model delves behind the words that are actually being spoken (called the surface structure) to what is really being meant (the deep structure).

NLP fascinates me. A few people we teach initially ask if the techniques aren't just common sense.
No - they are much more than that. Certainly some of the skills we teach on our introductory trainings are things that we sometimes do already, but it's about being aware that you do them. By bringing them into conscious awareness you can fine tune those skills and use them deliberately when the situation calls for it. Later we teach techniques that you certainly won't have used before, but once you know them they'll form an essential part of your everyday interactions with everyone you meet.

But it's not all work for me today as tonight we have our annual practice quiz night. I've set a round of questions on two topics I have an in-depth knowledge of .............. EastEnders and Casualty!
Sad but true, I'm a big fan of both programmes - should be a good night. See you next week.
Michelle

FRAMING & REFRAMING

I wrote this yesterday whilst waiting for the start of the Six Nations Rugby match France v Ireland. I've just seen Declan Kidney, the Irish coach interviewed and asked how he feels about Ireland's very poor record against the French in Paris. Instead of being intimidated, he saw it as a challenge - "Irish wins here are rare but what's rare is highly-prized." That's a great example of a reframe. Despite that, being an England fan I couldn't show anything other than an English ball now could I?

Framing in NLP terms really means setting the scene. Putting a frame around something means outlining what's going to happen so that your unconscious mind knows what's going on. It also sets the tone of what's coming next. Sometimes it's helpful to change this tone - that's what is called a re-frame.

This week's video is about framing & reframing and you can view it here.
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In it I discuss and example of using a reframe in a consultation situation. I do that a lot, it's a really helpful technique to use. There is nearly always a positive way that you can turn a situation around by suggesting a different way to look at it - by giving it a different frame. Maybe someone is coming back to see you to talk about weight loss. Perhaps they intended to lose half a stone in the month since their last visit and they've only lost 4lbs. Rather than see this as a failure, stressing that they have done well and that if they keep doing what they are doing they are going to get to their goal will be much more likely to keep them motivated.

Look for the positives in every situation - there is almost always something to find. Have fun noticing them and thinking about how to use them to motivate yourself and others.
Michelle